A Control Freak Nightmare
by Midna Hytwilian
Summary: The story behind some of Captain Jack Sparrow's weirdness. Jack Sparrow has a nightmare one night while in bed with a control freak Scarlet. Afterwards this dream never truely leaves. Oneshot. T for mild violence. Horror for Zelda character.


Disclaimer: I wish I owned these but I don't.

A/N A magical oneshot that appeared in my head!

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Jack Sparrow, formly known as Captain of the Black Pearl was used to sleeping at inns...especially with _pleasurable _compony. After he had been maronded on an island he had spent days drunk on the beach.

And finally a merchant ship had picked him up. Now here he was in a bed, a pretty little red head next to him fast asleep. This woman's name really did not want to be bothered with to remember.

But he had learned earlier it was Scarlet. And Scarlet was not pleasurable compony. This woman had verbally abused him about him drinking an awful lot of rum at the tavern.

Not that Jack cared, of course. He had been incredibly drunk-what else was new-when she had suggested a nice inn for the two of them and didn't register that a control freak wanted to be in bed with him.

So now he laid their rubbing his forehead wondering how he'd get out of this. Jack Sparrow had dealt with plenty of control freaks and at those times was fortunate to not of been drunk.

Now sober he needed a plan. Of course though just sneaking out now with end up in a slap in the face next time he saw her in Tortuga.

With a sigh Jack Sparrow stood up and swayed his way over to the alcohol. Their was nothing else left to do _but_ drink more rum. "Just close your eyes and think it all a bad dream." Jack muttered as he drank down the rum bottle.

After awhile he had felt extremly tired and crawled back into the bed, his second and last rum bottle empty. Jack Sparrow was _**not**_ destined for a goodnight's rest.

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Captain Sparrow awoke on a ship with something pouncing on him screaming in an incredibly annoying high pitched voice "hey listen! Hey listen!" Repeatedly like a broken record.

When Jack had opened his eyes he came face to...well blue light...with a fairy. Dealing with odd things like this before in the past made him just grunt at the annoying object and slowly stand up realizing the rum bottle was still clutched to his hand.

He was in the inn room still, Scarlet now gone, this fairy in her place. It continued screaming, ordering him to listen to it. "What?" He was just about ready to blow.

That was an incredibly rare thing for Jack Sparrow to do. Anger managment had never been an issue for the partially insane Captain.

But anyone would probably kill the thing by now. "I'm Navi and I'll be your fairy on your quest that the Great Deku Tree has assigned you to!" She announced. "Great Dekler Tree? Quest? You're not makin' any sense at all mate."

"No silly, Great Deku Tree!" She giggled. "You're destined to save the world from the dark forces of Ganondorf!" "Ga-what?" He couldn't even **try** to pronounce that one.

Navi grew red, annoyed that her "side-kick"-well truthfully she was the side-kick...not that she'd accept that-didn't even understand a name. She began wacking at him and slapping him despite his threats of shooting her with his one pistol that was destined for Barbossa.

But the fairy refused to stop. It continued and Jack was forced to take drastic measures. He parted his hands and when Navi was inbetween each, _CLAP_! Navi's limp, less blue body fell lifelessly on a table.  
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Jack awoke in his bed, Scarlet next to him, no blue annoying fairy, and clutched his head. He looked down at his rum bottle, reading the expiration date. The stuff had gone back three, four days ago.

He spat it out and immediatly left the room. "Slap or no slap...I am not stayin' in a room wit' a fairy." Imagination or not...that damn annoying fairy's voice never would really escape his memory.

And now as Jack thought about the memory, hand on his precious Black Pearl's wheel he smirked after singing A Pirates Life For Me. "Hey listen!" That annoying voice ordered.

Jack's smirked did not falter as he grabbed his rum bottle, and swung it at the fairy in his head. The fairy fell to the ground barely breathing. He mimicked her voice and stuck his tongue out at it.

Mr. Gibbs watched _Captain_ Jack Sparrow swing a rum bottle at nothing, saying something in a high pitched voice, and stick his tongue out. Marty walked up to Gibbs. "Is tha Cap'ain alright?" Marty asked warrily.

Gibbs nodded, "aye he is. Sadly this is normal."

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A/N Alot of people say my oneshots are my best stories and so I decided to release a oneshot. My schedule IS off I'll admit but will be back when school starts so hold on tight!


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